Our Family Fundraiser (Shoes for Africa) is finally coming to a close. So far we will be donating over 50 pairs of shoes; with one last bag to go through. We are more than thankful; overwhelmingly grateful is more like it. To every family that participated (friends, coworkers, neighbors, classmates, etc.), from our family to yours, “Thank You”. If we can do it, so can you. All you have to do is make it happen!

Our oldest daughter is all settled in her new apartment and enjoying her new life as a college student. There are 220 students in her World History class. How intimidating is that? She’s getting along with her roommates…yes!!! Prior to heading off to school, she purchased a 2002 Toyota Camry. We are very proud of her and her accomplishments.

Our youngest daughter has also settled nicely in her big sister’s old room. She enjoys having her own bathroom and not having anyone to share with. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet. No more sibling rivalry; at least for now. With a 3.3 grade point average, she’s also off to a great start this school year.

As for Jimmie and I, we’re simply living in the moment. One day at a time.

The apartment is conveniently located in a gated community and comes furnished with living room and bedroom furniture. Each room in the apartment has a bathroom and a separate room key. The girls will share the living room, the kitchen and washer/dryer. They’ll have full access to the computer lab, study/conference rooms and the University Transit; which runs  approximately every 10 minutes to and from campus.

Over the past two months we have been mentally preparing for this next transition in our lives. Since our daughter plans to work part time while in school, she’s already submitted job applications and gone on an interview. We figured this Fall she wouldn’t be the only one seeking employment; therefore, we decided to get a jumpstart on the competition. She’s already made her first major purchase “football season tickets”.

Everyone’s excited; especially our youngest daughter. She’s looking forward to her own bathroom also and possibly relocating to her sister’s old room. We haven’t decided how we’re going to get everything there yet. My sister and brother-in-law are on standby, should we need additional help. We’re done shopping for now. To date our daughter is still receiving graduation gifts and we are truly grateful. Jimmie and I would like to personally thank everyone for all the love and support that has been extended to our family.

WAR EAGLE!!!! It’s an Auburn thing.

Now that we have completed other family commitments, bring on the shoes baby! After careful consideration (venue, cost, labor, time, volunteers, etc.), I decided to make it a total hands-on, cost effective, family fundraiser. For example, instead of planning and organizing the event, we hand out flyers, make phones calls and send emails/text messages to family, friends, co-workers and neighbors for support. It’s definitely better time management for us. Volunteers are welcomed, not mandatory. Most importantly, shipping and handling are our only expenses.

In less than a week, we’ve already collected three bags of shoes. How cool is that? We’ll be collecting shoes for the next two weeks; then spend the last week organizing and packing the shoes for shipping. We’re excited and I can’t wait to share the total number of shoes collected. This fundraiser is the first of many to come. Each year we’ll identify a non-profit organization to support; making it a family tradition.

Do you have a  family tradition that involves helping others? If so, please share it. If not, what are you waiting for? Make it happen!

Halfway through the graduation something happened that I could not have prepared for. Totally caught off guard, internally I became in emotional wreck. Not to mention, it had absolutely nothing to do with our daughter. I had totally forgotten that one of JiMia’s classmates died around Spring Break; after a long battle with cancer. When his parents stood up to receive the first diploma…(pause)… umm… ok this is not an easy article; which is why it took me so long to write about the graduation.

When the parents stood up to receive their son’s diploma, there was in unexplainable hole in my soul for that mother. My spirit immediately began to weep. It was as if someone sucked the air out of me for a few seconds. What was she thinking, feeling, or going through at that exact moment. I was thinking, “That could have been Jimmie and I on that front row, or any other parent in the room”; standing proud, trying to be strong for each other. I can’t imagine the strain on their marriage; as a result of their loss.

Parenting is not easy; for real… it’s not. Learn how to celebrate the good, forgive the bad and move past the ugly. Remember, tomorrow is not promised to any of us or our children. That’s why, when I heard our daughters name called I cried, yelled and cheered like there was no tomorrow.

Let me just be clear, by no means do I claim to be a marriage counselor… my blog, my opinion, moving on.

Marriage is a beautiful thing! It’s the perception of what a marriage is suppose to be that I believe contributes to marital conflicts. In the early days of “Family Back Talk”, I wrote an article called Let’s Get Married; which basically talked about what a marriage IS NOT. One of the things a marriage is not and will never be is perfect. The word perfect is defined as: entirely without any flaws, defects or shortcomings. Therefore, a perfect marriage would be defined as: a marriage that does not include you (or me). Let’s be real for a moment.

A marriage is a fulltime, never ending commitment we chose to be apart of until the day we die. Point blank. That’s right, we all agreed to stick and stay through the good, the bad and the ugly (with the exception of abuse and/or adultery). I’ve heard frustrations of marital loneliness, lack of family involvement, communication strikes, dissatisfied sex lives, and so on. What I rarely hear are reasons why we chose to get married in the first place. It’s easy for us to focus on the negative in our lives; even if you are married to him or her. I always challenge people to remember the good times and/or what brought the two of you together in the first place. Think about all the things the two of you have accomplished over the years; not just the kids. What made you laugh so hard, tears rolled down your cheeks? What is the one thing about him/her that makes you smile behind their back? What made you choose your spouse over previous relationships? Or better yet, what are some of your flaws he/she knew beforehand, yet still married you anyway? I’m just saying… I know for a fact nobody can love on me and have the patience to appreciate me and my shortcomings (family included) like Jimmie, and vice-versa.

My point is this: Whatever your marital status is at the moment, make sure at the end of the day you can go before the Lord and know that he is pleased with you. Do your part, not your spouses; just yours. I’m not saying it’s easy. If it was, this article would be pointless. Most of us had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we went before the Lord, seeking His blessings when we got married. Try going before Him, seeking His guidance to stay married. After all, marriage is a beautiful thing!

While you think about it, here’s a little something to vibe to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjpOQz1FRkQ .

I remember the first day I met you, we were so young. You were a blessing, there was no guessing. You were the one. Love is so crazy. We had a baby and said our vows…
                                                                                                                          -India Arie

The first day I met Jimmie, we were 17 years old, standing in line to register for classes in college. Two weeks later, I called my mom on the phone and told her I met my husband. I didn’t know him; but I knew him. By the time I was willing to admit that I liked him, I had already fallen in love with him. At the time, he didn’t care how I felt. He always said he had enough love for the both of us. A year after our engagement, we found out we were expecting a baby, and married three months later.

Our marriage isn’t perfect and that’s cool. Because guess what? Neither is yours. Jimmie is my calm, my comfort. His heartbeat keeps the rhythm in our relationship. I could not have picked a better father for our daughters or a better man to spend the rest of my life with. I’m very proud to say, “I’m blessed to have a good man”. I love you Jimmie!

Now maybe it’s just me, but if I didn’t know any better, I would think India Arie was really talking about us. What do you think?

-The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.
-Knowing your purpose simplifies your life.
-Stop trying to do it all. Do only that which matters most.
-Life on earth offers many choices; eternity offers two: heaven or hell.
-God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, etc.
-A very important test is how you act when you can’t feel God’s presence in your life.
-God uses finances to teach us to trust him.
-Are you preventing God from doing more in your life based on the way you handle your money?
-Life on earth is temporary, so don’t get too attached.
-Ask God to help you see life on earth as he sees it.
-When you flirt with the temptations of this world, that’s spiritual adultery.
-Faithfulness to God does not guarantee success in a career.
-Worship is more than praising, singing and prayers to God; it’s a lifestyle.
-When you use your life for God’s glory, everything you do can become an act of worship.
-Delayed obedience is really disobedience.
-God knows you are incapable of being perfect or sinless.
-Is pleasing God your deepest desire?
-Fear, pride and confusion keeps us from totally submitting to God.
-Most of our stress in life is caused by our own desire to have complete control.
-It is when we try to be God, we end up more like satan.
-Rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda and control the situation.
-Kristia (use your own name), you don’t have to always be in charge.
-Instead of trying harder, trust God more.
-Prayer lets you speak to God. Meditation lets God speak to you.
-Bitterness is one of the greatest barriers to a friendship with God.
-God always acts in your best interest; even when it’s painful and you don’t understand it.
-God treasures simple acts of obedience more than our prayers, praise or offerings.
-The biggest distraction in worship is you.
-You are as close to God as you choose to be. (I’ll stop here)

We all have a purpose in life. Mine is to do what I do best; bless, encourage and motivate others. Prayerfully, I’ve achieved that with this article. If my notes blessed you, then I encourage you to buy and/or share the book and help motivate those you know and love to discover/pursue their purpose in life.

I started with you. It’s just that simple.

When I saw the hurt in our daughter’s eyes and how she struggled to hold back her tears, I immediately became defensive. Can my child where her own costume first, before sharing it? We didn’t even know the other dancer she was giving it to. And to add insult to injury, the other dancer would actually have to wear it twice before giving it back to our daughter to wear once. That was sooo not cool.

Not feeling spiritual at all, I’m repeating to myself, “What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do?” Sure enough, there was a “ram in the bush” that calmed me down. She actually knew the other dancer and her mom very well. In a calm voice she said, “Kristia, it’s okay. You don’t have anything to worry about. They’re good people”. But I heard, put yourself in their shoes. (Thanks Ms. K.) I took our daughter to the side and said okay this is a lesson in humility. We’ll be fine. This is a temporary fix and we’re not going to be selfish. I also reminded her that she was still missing a skirt.

Let’s put ourselves in their shoes. The dance instructor was in a bind and probably asked herself, “Who would be understanding and willing to help me?” In other words, who has her back? We do…and I’m glad she knows it. Now let’s think about the other dancer. She doesn’t have a costume for not one, but two of her dances. And to make matters worse, she has to borrow from someone she doesn’t even know. She’s probably thinking, what if the costume doesn’t even fit?

By the time it was all over, not only did the other dancer wear my daughter’s costume, I also offered to style her hair for the remaining four competitions. Wow…I know… you didn’t see that one coming. Neither did I, until I personally introduced myself and saw a need. We are all surrounded by opportunities to help one another. If you don’t know where to start, simply put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

Sometimes we find ourselves in an uncomfortable place, often without answers. While in the mist of our long days and some sleepless nights (yes, Jimmie and I have those too), I always try to find the lesson in our unpleasant situation. It’s during these times God really has my undivided attention. Usually, you’ll find me in a quiet place, listening and/or reading words of encouragement.

When you find yourself in the middle of a storm in your life, and you will, don’t turn back and runaway. Don’t allow fear and doubt to consume you and convince you that you are being punished for something you said or did in the past. Think about the many, many blessings on the other side waiting for you. Rely on your confidence in God to help you endure your temporary situation. Revisit previous blessings in your life and how they made you feel. Think about how you will greet your new blessings. And remember…life happens.

As many of you know, I work part time in a retail store. Well, a customer purchased a $25 gift card and gave it to me. She explained that her church was participating in something called “Acts of Christmas” and she chose to bless me. Caught off guard, all I could say was “thank you”. By the time I realized what happened, she was gone.

A few weeks later I saw one of our regular customers. She was introducing her grandkids to me when, a women walked in the store and interrupted our conversation. “Excuse me. Are these your items? The customer said, yes. Do you mind if I bless you and pay for them? The customer said, no”. Then the woman went on to explain that she had been picking different people once a week. Her husband had recently lost his job and she just wanted to bless someone else who may be in their same situation.

Today I went to one of my hairstylists, who’d been out on maternity leave. After viewing the new baby photos, I asked her what was her final outcome in reference to childcare. She proudly shared how one of her retired customers volunteered to watch the baby free of charge. Insisting on paying something, my hairstylist was told to pay whatever was placed on her heart.
The elderly couple use to watch their grandchild; but she started kindergarten this year. Excited to have a little one in the house again, the couple went out and purchased baby items as well. How awesome is that?

We all know this world is filled with hurting, angry, evildoers. The media is a constant reminder of that. It gives me great pleasure to share simple “Acts of Kindness”, from ordinary people; like you and I. In the future, I will share a list of suggested “Acts of Kindness” we could all participate in. If you have any, send them to me and I’ll add them to the list.  Until then…take care.