It doesn’t matter if you are married with kids or a single parent; many of you can relate. At the end of the day, when we look at our “to do list”, what have we accomplished? Did the most important things on our list get done? Did the list grow? Is the list becoming stressful? Or better yet, has our “to do list” become a mental note to self, because we’re to busy to write anything down? Or send a reminder to your cell phone, if that’s your thing.

The bottom line is many of us don’t slow down until a health concern forces us to. Sometimes I choose sleep over food or I’ll eat my breakfast and/or dinner in the car. You do that sometimes too? I know. That has to stop. I’m determined to be proactive and improve the way I manage time. There’s a reason we’re only given 24 hours a day. Think about it…8 hours to work, 8 hours to rest, 8 hours left. What’s the problem?

Many of us pray and then say we’re waiting on an answer. No we’re not. We’re to busy being distracted with our “to do list”. Or maybe (talking to myself) we’re too tired and sleepy to hear. As I attempt to simplify my life, I look at my list and ask myself: Did the things I accomplished today please God or man? Does my “to do list” look like the list He has for me? Is He on my “to do list”? Come on…don’t let me go there by myself. Focus on what matters most.

As many of you know, I work part time in a retail store. Well, a customer purchased a $25 gift card and gave it to me. She explained that her church was participating in something called “Acts of Christmas” and she chose to bless me. Caught off guard, all I could say was “thank you”. By the time I realized what happened, she was gone.

A few weeks later I saw one of our regular customers. She was introducing her grandkids to me when, a women walked in the store and interrupted our conversation. “Excuse me. Are these your items? The customer said, yes. Do you mind if I bless you and pay for them? The customer said, no”. Then the woman went on to explain that she had been picking different people once a week. Her husband had recently lost his job and she just wanted to bless someone else who may be in their same situation.

Today I went to one of my hairstylists, who’d been out on maternity leave. After viewing the new baby photos, I asked her what was her final outcome in reference to childcare. She proudly shared how one of her retired customers volunteered to watch the baby free of charge. Insisting on paying something, my hairstylist was told to pay whatever was placed on her heart.
The elderly couple use to watch their grandchild; but she started kindergarten this year. Excited to have a little one in the house again, the couple went out and purchased baby items as well. How awesome is that?

We all know this world is filled with hurting, angry, evildoers. The media is a constant reminder of that. It gives me great pleasure to share simple “Acts of Kindness”, from ordinary people; like you and I. In the future, I will share a list of suggested “Acts of Kindness” we could all participate in. If you have any, send them to me and I’ll add them to the list.  Until then…take care.

Most people don’t know that Jimmie and I we’re being prepared for this lifestyle back in 1987. We didn’t even know. Our holidays and summer breaks during college was spent with our families. Born and raised in two different states, automatically meant we had to get use to being apart. After two years of dating, I transferred to a different college (in Kentucky) and Jimmie enlisted in the military; talk about being apart. The first three and a half years of our relationship consisted of long distance phone calls, hotels, fast foods and car rentals. I know what you’re thinking and I agree…very expensive! Jimmie and I got engaged February 1990 in Virginia. We didn’t see each other again until August, in Georgia; October, in Texas; January 1991, in Florida. Keep in mind these were usually three-day weekend visits.

During our first eight years of marriage, I had to get use to Jimmie working the graveyard shift; meaning I was home alone at night with the girls. It was preparing me for the next five years of his 24 hour work schedule (twice a week). The girls and I had to get use to seeing “daddy” leave for work and coming home the next day. Fast forward five years later and here we are.

Hard work, sweat and tears…yes. Greener grass, maybe. Am I still the lucky one? You tell me.

Being a wife and mother of two is a constant learning experience for me. Just when I think I know what I’m doing, I later learn how I could have done something a little different…better even. Jimmie and I enjoyed a moment the other night. We stayed up late, talking about our lives together. We talked about how we started out and revisited some mistakes we’ve made along the way. Then we talked about where we are now and our plans for the future. After 22 years, it was good to know that we’re still growing in the same direction.

As for the girls, I’m learning why they say children are a blessing. For me, it’s not the moments of joy they bring or angelic look in their eyes when they want something. Nor is it the hugs and kisses I use to get on a regular basis. It’s the transitional teenage years. The challenges of trying to teach young minds what they still don’t know, but think they do. It’s the unwelcoming debates and the emotional rollercoaster from both sides. It’s when I’m screaming morals, values, character and integrity over the loud voices of the media and society’s compromising garbage. It’s when Jimmie and I have to go against the grain and give “tough love”; even when it hurts us too. These are the things that keeps me humble and before the Lord regularly. My relationship with our girls motivates me to have a closer relationship with Him; the one who matters the most in my life. He is my “right now”.

Our girls went from participating in youth programs at church to oratorical contests, fashion shows, dance recitals, school plays, talent shows…and the list continued. After proving their commitment to the stage, we joined the “Film and Fashion Industry”. We had no idea, what we were getting into. It’s not just talent and auditions. There’s the make-up artist, photo shoots, headshots, resumes, monologs, talent scouts, agents, etc. Headshots and resumes are submitted prior to being considered for an audition. Keep in mind, nothing is free. Before the audition, you have made a nice investment in your child.

Audition notifications are not time sensitive. Meaning, it could be the next day or the next hour. School was not a factor (one of the benefits of home school). The girls knew they had to keep their grades up and go to school. Therefore, if an audition was during school hours, they could afford to miss school or a few classes. Our agent always gave us a 30 minute window to accept or deny an audition. Auditions were not guaranteed to be local either. The girls have auditioned and performed out of state. Sometimes they auditioned for the same project, but different characters. Occasionally, they would even audition against each other; which was never fun for me.

Appearance and wardrobe were always critical. Remember, they expect to recognize you from your headshot. Acne breakouts were unacceptable; along with the bills and prescriptions from our Dermatologist. Also, weight gain/loss would mean new headshots and resumes. If we did not meet the wardrobe requirements (colors, season, etc.), we had to go shopping-quickly! One audition required five outfits, with matching accessories. Yea… that was fun.

A private lifestyle was also very important. For safety purposes, only one or two of their closest friends knew this part of their lives. In today’s society, peer-pressure among teens (especially girls), result in violence and/or death. It can all be viewed with the click of a mouse; sad, but true. Not even their closest friends were willing to risk that.

Finding balance was often challenging for the girls. Unlike most teenage girls, they really couldn’t share their excitement about a “callback” or other memorable moments. Plans were constantly on hold or being adjusted because of auditions and/or rehearsals. Last year we decided to take time off from Film and Fashion and focus on dance. The girls auditioned at a local dance studio and became “Company Dancers”. They rehearse four times a week, compete locally and out of state, participate in local parades and perform at recitals. Next week we’ll be in Florida for the National Dance Competition. As we attempt to squeeze a little vacation time in, I probably won’t post another article until we return.

Raising talented kids is a blessing…umm sure…ok.

The Master Monthly Schedule:
Jimmie’s work schedule –preplanned two years out
Jimmie’s flight schedule – arrival and departure times have to be scheduled around my work schedule or dance rehearsals
My work schedule – determined one week in advance, times and hours may vary
Dance rehearsals – (this year) Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursday and Saturdays
Daughter’s work schedule – Fridays and Sundays
Date Night – once a month, usually a Thursday
Daughter’s guitar lessons – Wednesdays

Typical Add Ons: family outings, birthday/teen parties, doctor visits, dance competitions, school activities, parent/teacher conferences, babysitting, hair appointments, massages, girls’ night out, etc.

Remember, I said our schedule is typically determined by the girls’ day-to-day activities. Anytime we (doesn’t matter who) get an invite somewhere, we have to check availability first. Having your days literally preplanned, because of previous commitments, can be stressful.

Quite often, Jimmie gets very frustrated when he comes home and his week is already planned out for him. I’m a grown a_ _ man. I can do whatever I want to do. Usually turns into, sh _ t! I can never do what the h_ ll I want to do. Go ahead and laugh….we do. Let’s say he wants to go see a movie. The following questions will come up: When and with who? If as a family, are the girls available at the same time? If me, am I off that day? Would this be considered our date night, instead of dinner? Going to see a movie is not a problem. Trying to go without checking availability or planning ahead is. Likewise, the girls stress out when they have to choose between a prior commitment and a party invite; particularly when it’s a close friend. Their friends all know how active they are. So if the girls show up, the excitement is usually overwhelming. Life is about choices. They know that first hand. Occasionally, we may cancel (reschedule if we can) a commitment for something more important or just because. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. As a result, we try to live it to the fullest!