The apartment is conveniently located in a gated community and comes furnished with living room and bedroom furniture. Each room in the apartment has a bathroom and a separate room key. The girls will share the living room, the kitchen and washer/dryer. They’ll have full access to the computer lab, study/conference rooms and the University Transit; which runs  approximately every 10 minutes to and from campus.

Over the past two months we have been mentally preparing for this next transition in our lives. Since our daughter plans to work part time while in school, she’s already submitted job applications and gone on an interview. We figured this Fall she wouldn’t be the only one seeking employment; therefore, we decided to get a jumpstart on the competition. She’s already made her first major purchase “football season tickets”.

Everyone’s excited; especially our youngest daughter. She’s looking forward to her own bathroom also and possibly relocating to her sister’s old room. We haven’t decided how we’re going to get everything there yet. My sister and brother-in-law are on standby, should we need additional help. We’re done shopping for now. To date our daughter is still receiving graduation gifts and we are truly grateful. Jimmie and I would like to personally thank everyone for all the love and support that has been extended to our family.

WAR EAGLE!!!! It’s an Auburn thing.

Now some of you know that Jimmie and I have been married for almost 20 years. Some of you also know that we get along about 95% of the time. Well, this article is about the other 5%.

Of course, when Jimmie’s home we try to maximize our time together; with and without the girls. I tweak our daily routine and some things get put on hold; like my blog. Anyway, last Wednesday I was going over my list of chores when my husband offered to do the laundry the next day. I’m thinking okay…I’m low on panties and bras…but one more day won’t hurt. And besides, that’s one less thing I’ll have to do. The next morning, Jimmie decided he would also cook lunch for him and the girls, while I was at work. I’m loving it, because all I have to do is go grocery shopping and decide what’s for dinner when I get off. To easy, I know.

Apparently lunch (chicken tacos) took all day because it was the reason the laundry didn’t get done. I was so upset I started praying “Lord, the outcome of this situation can go in so many different ways. Please help me with my mouth because I don’t trust myself.” After I showered, I immediately began laundry; only to run out of detergent. Communication was at a minimum. Off to the grocery store I go. Tired, but who cares. Ordered pizza, finished laundry (he helped) and that was the end of that; so I thought.

Jimmie later wanted to know why I was upset, he said he would do laundry and didn’t know why I went ahead and did it. Now ladies…I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this. But since I had already prayed, I was prepared to respond without raft. I simply said, “Because it’s just the two of us, when you decide not to do something, I do not have a choice. I have no options but to get it done. I know you said you would do it; however, your track record makes that statement only 50% true leaving a 50% chance for you to put it off until tomorrow and I needed clean panties and bras”.

The subject changed and that was the end of our 5%. Pick your battles people. It can help simply an unpleasant situation.

Halfway through the graduation something happened that I could not have prepared for. Totally caught off guard, internally I became in emotional wreck. Not to mention, it had absolutely nothing to do with our daughter. I had totally forgotten that one of JiMia’s classmates died around Spring Break; after a long battle with cancer. When his parents stood up to receive the first diploma…(pause)… umm… ok this is not an easy article; which is why it took me so long to write about the graduation.

When the parents stood up to receive their son’s diploma, there was in unexplainable hole in my soul for that mother. My spirit immediately began to weep. It was as if someone sucked the air out of me for a few seconds. What was she thinking, feeling, or going through at that exact moment. I was thinking, “That could have been Jimmie and I on that front row, or any other parent in the room”; standing proud, trying to be strong for each other. I can’t imagine the strain on their marriage; as a result of their loss.

Parenting is not easy; for real… it’s not. Learn how to celebrate the good, forgive the bad and move past the ugly. Remember, tomorrow is not promised to any of us or our children. That’s why, when I heard our daughters name called I cried, yelled and cheered like there was no tomorrow.

Jimmie came home last Tuesday; after being away for five weeks. Were the girls and I excited to see him? Most definitely! Although we talk to him everyday on the phone, (several times a day) it doesn’t compare to talking to him in person. So much happened while he was away; like our 19th Wedding Anniversary, Mother’s Day, the big argument the girls had recently, our youngest daughter’s eye injury-twice in one week, two dance competitions, two out-of-town trips in one weekend, etc. Likewise, there were so many things to show him; like our oldest daughters cap and gown, her diploma plaque, my new blackberry he ordered online, mail, you name it.

The next morning I woke up and decided that I was going to have a great day all because my husband was home. Surely, I could breathe a little easier having him home and not have to worry about him being in harms way when he’s away at work. Speaking of work, shortly after I got there, I found myself watching the clock. Just the thought of him waiting to see me after work made me smile throughout the day. That’s when it happened…my moment.

That inner voice said, “Why haven’t I seen you this excited to see me? I know being with your husband makes you happy, but what about the joy I bring? When was the last time you watched the clock, anticipating when you would spend time with me again?”

Now, I don’t have to tell you all what was going through my mind. I’m thinking “Oh my gosh…it was true.” I’m always talking about Christ and sharing my relationship with Him with others; like you all. I’ve been slacking on showing Him how much I love and appreciate Him. Let me just say this and I’m done. Don’t allow yourself to get so caught up in your daily routine that you minimize your quality time with the one who makes your existence possible. Make sure everyday you celebrate life, you celebrate Christ. Don’t get caught like I did. Check yourself…because if you don’t, He will.

Let me just be clear, by no means do I claim to be a marriage counselor… my blog, my opinion, moving on.

Marriage is a beautiful thing! It’s the perception of what a marriage is suppose to be that I believe contributes to marital conflicts. In the early days of “Family Back Talk”, I wrote an article called Let’s Get Married; which basically talked about what a marriage IS NOT. One of the things a marriage is not and will never be is perfect. The word perfect is defined as: entirely without any flaws, defects or shortcomings. Therefore, a perfect marriage would be defined as: a marriage that does not include you (or me). Let’s be real for a moment.

A marriage is a fulltime, never ending commitment we chose to be apart of until the day we die. Point blank. That’s right, we all agreed to stick and stay through the good, the bad and the ugly (with the exception of abuse and/or adultery). I’ve heard frustrations of marital loneliness, lack of family involvement, communication strikes, dissatisfied sex lives, and so on. What I rarely hear are reasons why we chose to get married in the first place. It’s easy for us to focus on the negative in our lives; even if you are married to him or her. I always challenge people to remember the good times and/or what brought the two of you together in the first place. Think about all the things the two of you have accomplished over the years; not just the kids. What made you laugh so hard, tears rolled down your cheeks? What is the one thing about him/her that makes you smile behind their back? What made you choose your spouse over previous relationships? Or better yet, what are some of your flaws he/she knew beforehand, yet still married you anyway? I’m just saying… I know for a fact nobody can love on me and have the patience to appreciate me and my shortcomings (family included) like Jimmie, and vice-versa.

My point is this: Whatever your marital status is at the moment, make sure at the end of the day you can go before the Lord and know that he is pleased with you. Do your part, not your spouses; just yours. I’m not saying it’s easy. If it was, this article would be pointless. Most of us had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we went before the Lord, seeking His blessings when we got married. Try going before Him, seeking His guidance to stay married. After all, marriage is a beautiful thing!

While you think about it, here’s a little something to vibe to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjpOQz1FRkQ .

It doesn’t matter if you are married with kids or a single parent; many of you can relate. At the end of the day, when we look at our “to do list”, what have we accomplished? Did the most important things on our list get done? Did the list grow? Is the list becoming stressful? Or better yet, has our “to do list” become a mental note to self, because we’re to busy to write anything down? Or send a reminder to your cell phone, if that’s your thing.

The bottom line is many of us don’t slow down until a health concern forces us to. Sometimes I choose sleep over food or I’ll eat my breakfast and/or dinner in the car. You do that sometimes too? I know. That has to stop. I’m determined to be proactive and improve the way I manage time. There’s a reason we’re only given 24 hours a day. Think about it…8 hours to work, 8 hours to rest, 8 hours left. What’s the problem?

Many of us pray and then say we’re waiting on an answer. No we’re not. We’re to busy being distracted with our “to do list”. Or maybe (talking to myself) we’re too tired and sleepy to hear. As I attempt to simplify my life, I look at my list and ask myself: Did the things I accomplished today please God or man? Does my “to do list” look like the list He has for me? Is He on my “to do list”? Come on…don’t let me go there by myself. Focus on what matters most.

It was nice having him home for the girls’ spring break. Our youngest daughter reminded us that it would be the last one we spend together; since our oldest daughter will be graduating in a few weeks and headed to Auburn University in the fall. Even though it’s been 18 years, I’m not sure if Jimmie and I are really ready for this new chapter in our lives. We’re all a little excited as we slowly turn the pages towards the unknown.

As I sit here and reflect over the past 20 years of my life, I realize life is not complicated until we try to perfect it. Live, love, laugh…why is that so hard? I’m learning that it is only when we acknowledge life’s imperfections and began to embrace them, that we then open the doors to appreciate and enjoy the life we have.

Yesterday, Jimmie was so quiet I could hear his thoughts. His eyes said what his mouth wouldn’t. We both know when he leaves for work, a piece of him will stay and a piece of me will leave with him. He’s the part of me that worries. I’m the part that reminds him that we’re okay. Last night we danced in the middle of our living room, to “Love of My Life” by Brian McKnight. Live, love, laugh…it’s just that simple.

-The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.
-Knowing your purpose simplifies your life.
-Stop trying to do it all. Do only that which matters most.
-Life on earth offers many choices; eternity offers two: heaven or hell.
-God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, etc.
-A very important test is how you act when you can’t feel God’s presence in your life.
-God uses finances to teach us to trust him.
-Are you preventing God from doing more in your life based on the way you handle your money?
-Life on earth is temporary, so don’t get too attached.
-Ask God to help you see life on earth as he sees it.
-When you flirt with the temptations of this world, that’s spiritual adultery.
-Faithfulness to God does not guarantee success in a career.
-Worship is more than praising, singing and prayers to God; it’s a lifestyle.
-When you use your life for God’s glory, everything you do can become an act of worship.
-Delayed obedience is really disobedience.
-God knows you are incapable of being perfect or sinless.
-Is pleasing God your deepest desire?
-Fear, pride and confusion keeps us from totally submitting to God.
-Most of our stress in life is caused by our own desire to have complete control.
-It is when we try to be God, we end up more like satan.
-Rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda and control the situation.
-Kristia (use your own name), you don’t have to always be in charge.
-Instead of trying harder, trust God more.
-Prayer lets you speak to God. Meditation lets God speak to you.
-Bitterness is one of the greatest barriers to a friendship with God.
-God always acts in your best interest; even when it’s painful and you don’t understand it.
-God treasures simple acts of obedience more than our prayers, praise or offerings.
-The biggest distraction in worship is you.
-You are as close to God as you choose to be. (I’ll stop here)

We all have a purpose in life. Mine is to do what I do best; bless, encourage and motivate others. Prayerfully, I’ve achieved that with this article. If my notes blessed you, then I encourage you to buy and/or share the book and help motivate those you know and love to discover/pursue their purpose in life.

I started with you. It’s just that simple.

When I saw the hurt in our daughter’s eyes and how she struggled to hold back her tears, I immediately became defensive. Can my child where her own costume first, before sharing it? We didn’t even know the other dancer she was giving it to. And to add insult to injury, the other dancer would actually have to wear it twice before giving it back to our daughter to wear once. That was sooo not cool.

Not feeling spiritual at all, I’m repeating to myself, “What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do?” Sure enough, there was a “ram in the bush” that calmed me down. She actually knew the other dancer and her mom very well. In a calm voice she said, “Kristia, it’s okay. You don’t have anything to worry about. They’re good people”. But I heard, put yourself in their shoes. (Thanks Ms. K.) I took our daughter to the side and said okay this is a lesson in humility. We’ll be fine. This is a temporary fix and we’re not going to be selfish. I also reminded her that she was still missing a skirt.

Let’s put ourselves in their shoes. The dance instructor was in a bind and probably asked herself, “Who would be understanding and willing to help me?” In other words, who has her back? We do…and I’m glad she knows it. Now let’s think about the other dancer. She doesn’t have a costume for not one, but two of her dances. And to make matters worse, she has to borrow from someone she doesn’t even know. She’s probably thinking, what if the costume doesn’t even fit?

By the time it was all over, not only did the other dancer wear my daughter’s costume, I also offered to style her hair for the remaining four competitions. Wow…I know… you didn’t see that one coming. Neither did I, until I personally introduced myself and saw a need. We are all surrounded by opportunities to help one another. If you don’t know where to start, simply put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

Sometimes we find ourselves in an uncomfortable place, often without answers. While in the mist of our long days and some sleepless nights (yes, Jimmie and I have those too), I always try to find the lesson in our unpleasant situation. It’s during these times God really has my undivided attention. Usually, you’ll find me in a quiet place, listening and/or reading words of encouragement.

When you find yourself in the middle of a storm in your life, and you will, don’t turn back and runaway. Don’t allow fear and doubt to consume you and convince you that you are being punished for something you said or did in the past. Think about the many, many blessings on the other side waiting for you. Rely on your confidence in God to help you endure your temporary situation. Revisit previous blessings in your life and how they made you feel. Think about how you will greet your new blessings. And remember…life happens.