This past weekend the girls and I took a family friend to their first dance competition for the new season. They were overwhelmingly excited to perform, even though there were some costume mishaps. Our youngest daughter’s costumes were fine; unlike the oldest who was missing a skirt to one of hers. Once we arrived and got settled, we joined the audience to cheer for our dance company and check out the competition. About 30 minutes later, one of our dance instructors informed our oldest daughter that she needed to borrow one of her costumes for another dancer, who would be performing before her. Our daughter said, okay without hesitating. When her instructor walked away, she had no idea she took our excitement with her (for a little while at least).
When I saw the hurt in our daughter’s eyes and how she struggled to hold back her tears, I immediately became defensive. Can my child where her own costume first, before sharing it? We didn’t even know the other dancer she was giving it to. And to add insult to injury, the other dancer would actually have to wear it twice before giving it back to our daughter to wear once. That was sooo not cool.
Not feeling spiritual at all, I’m repeating to myself, “What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do?” Sure enough, there was a “ram in the bush” that calmed me down. She actually knew the other dancer and her mom very well. In a calm voice she said, “Kristia, it’s okay. You don’t have anything to worry about. They’re good people”. But I heard, put yourself in their shoes. (Thanks Ms. K.) I took our daughter to the side and said okay this is a lesson in humility. We’ll be fine. This is a temporary fix and we’re not going to be selfish. I also reminded her that she was still missing a skirt.
Let’s put ourselves in their shoes. The dance instructor was in a bind and probably asked herself, “Who would be understanding and willing to help me?” In other words, who has her back? We do…and I’m glad she knows it. Now let’s think about the other dancer. She doesn’t have a costume for not one, but two of her dances. And to make matters worse, she has to borrow from someone she doesn’t even know. She’s probably thinking, what if the costume doesn’t even fit?
By the time it was all over, not only did the other dancer wear my daughter’s costume, I also offered to style her hair for the remaining four competitions. Wow…I know… you didn’t see that one coming. Neither did I, until I personally introduced myself and saw a need. We are all surrounded by opportunities to help one another. If you don’t know where to start, simply put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Krisita, the same thing has happen to my oldest daughter; not in dance but on the softball field. A senior who was not eligible to play last year is eligible to play this year and guess what base she plays? Yes, 3rd the same as my daughter. So my daughter was moved from 3rd to outfield. The flesh was so easy to rise up and ask why my child? But as her calm and mild mannered father put it, be glad you are on the team and starting. We had our first tournament last weekend and the 3rd base made two huge mistakes that caused us to lose. I talked to my daughter about not saying if she was there that would not have happen, instead let’s go and get her a card for encouragement. She felt so good in doing that I could tell she is really growing up. Thanks for sharing, it let’s us know that we all are going through things.
Bridgett: Like I said before, life happens. Getting a card for encouragement was an awesome idea. I’ll have to keep that in mind. I guarantee that card will become a keepsake for that senior. Your story proves my point, opportunities to help/bless someone else are everywhere. We just have to stop focusing on self for a moment to recognize one. As parents, we sometimes forget (or don’t know) the importance of teaching our kids how to sew seeds; realizing that we’re also sewing into their lives at the same time.
If everyone would take the time to look at the situation from another ones’ point of view; wow how much better would mankind be? We always think we have problems but just take the time to listen to someone else and their situation and notice what you learn.
Karon: I couldn’t agree with you more.
kRISTIA, i AM GLAD YOU REMEMBERED ,IT IS NOT ABOUT US. GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE. HE KNEW YOU WOULD PASS THE TEST(SMILE) MS.BAKER