“I just want you to have a better life than I had growing up”. If you have never said or heard those words before – or something similar, this article may not be for you. As for the rest of us, those words have a strong mental influence on our individual definition of parenting.
If we grew up in a single-parent home, we want to make sure our kids grow up with two. If we grew up poor, we want our kids to have the financial benefits of all the other kids. If we were not allowed or unable to play sports as a child, you better belief our kids will be in sports year round. Our parents were too strict. We’ll be more understanding. Our parents were too frugal or cheap. We’ll definitely buy name brand. Surely, our kids will grow up in a bigger house because they need their own bedrooms. Better cars, no more used, fixer uppers. We don’t want our kids to stand out or be judged by their peers. The goal is to protect our kids and keep them from getting their feelings hurt.
Now let’s be real. Our kid’s feelings have been hurt numerous times, despite our efforts. Our parents did more with a little than we do with a lot. Most of us were more respectful, appreciative and thankful than our kids are now. For many of us, our childhood made us independent and determined to succeed and struggle less. I think it’s safe to say, we turned out alright.
So why…why do we spend so much time focusing on things that really don’t matter? Jimmie and I have never (at least I don’t think we have) tried to keep up with the “Joneses”; however we are guilty of going overboard with making sure the girls are exposed to more things life has to offer. Now hear me out. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t want better for our kids. My question is where do we draw the line? What’s wrong with just making sure our kids’ basic needs are met and quality of life is better? Forget about perfection for a moment. Let’s do an assessment of ourselves. Are we pleased with the way we turned out as adults. If so, shouldn’t we stick to the way we were raised as kids and maybe tweek it a little?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes I do agree that we should raise our kids similar. I just recommend keeping up with the times . Cause like most parents say all the time “It wasn’t like that when I was coming up” and they are so right. It’s worst.
Kashia: You’re right…things are different. However, providing basic needs for your family will always stay the same. I don’t understand why/how we allow ourselves to stray so far from what matters most in our lives. It’s usually after a storm, flood, tornado, hurricane or other devastating experience we realize, all that matters is the health and safety of our kids and family overall. In addition to being able to provide for them, of course.